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Interesting, we were talking about this in the Own My Life Course this week:
Women who kill: how the state criminalises women we might otherwise be burying - Womens Aid
www.womensaid.org.uk
11th October 202111th October 2021 Women who kill: how the state criminalises women we might otherwise be burying By Sophie Howes, Research Consultant, Centre for Women’s Justice Introduction Those ...
Women who kill: how the state criminalises women we might otherwise be burying - Womens Aid
www.womensaid.org.uk
11th October 202111th October 2021 Women who kill: how the state criminalises women we might otherwise be burying By Sophie Howes, Research Consultant, Centre for Women’s Justice Introduction Those ...
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Our Launch event is coming up this month. This is mainly for businesses and business owners because we are launching a workplace domestic abuse scheme. We want employers to "upskill" their workforce to understand and recognise DA and support their colleagues better. We are also particularly interested in talking to hairdressers, beauticians, etc who have a key role to play in this. Please RSVP to contact space4action if you wish to attend, thank you.
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When this happens, it's usually because the owner only shared it with a small group of people or changed who can see it, or it's been deleted.
An important research survey for any under 25s who experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse:Domestic abuse research shows that by the age of 15, many young people have already experienced significant abusive behaviours in their relationships. ![]()
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SafeLives want to better understand why and how young people begin to instigate harmful behaviours. The #IsItOk? Campaign & survey asks 11–25-year-olds what they think is and isn’t ok in a relationship. ![]()
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This is the last chance to input into this important survey- closing Sunday. Please share the survey with the young people you live or work with, including boys and young men, and help us in working to end domestic abuse, for everyone, for good. ![]()
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bit.ly/3k0CFNM
Timeline PhotosDomestic abuse research shows that by the age of 15, many young people have already experienced significant abusive behaviours in their relationships. ![]()
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SafeLives want to better understand why and how young people begin to instigate harmful behaviours. The #IsItOk? Campaign & survey asks 11–25-year-olds what they think is and isn’t ok in a relationship. ![]()
![]()
This is the last chance to input into this important survey- closing Sunday. Please share the survey with the young people you live or work with, including boys and young men, and help us in working to end domestic abuse, for everyone, for good. ![]()
![]()
bit.ly/3k0CFNM
Opinion | How R. Kelly Got Away With It
www.nytimes.com
The singer’s abuse of Black women and girls was hiding in plain sight.
Here's hoping these 10 help us to shift the balance and get some traction in improving Domestic Abuse provision and Awareness on this Island - we need the DA Act to be put into practice and we need it supported by investment in training and services. It is time for change!Herstory has been made today with 10 women MHKs being sworn into Tynwald. ![]()
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#herstory
This is a domestic abuse film, filmed on the Isle of Man, great to know it is doing really well on the film festival circuit and hopefully it should come to the Island next month. Well done to Liz, Athena and crew.Over the moon to announce that Losing Grace has done it again!! We’ve won the 2021 LA 1 Shorts Award for Best Film!!! Thank you so much all the team at LA1 Shorts , we are absolutely delighted!!! ❤️❤️❤️
There Are No “Women’s Issues”. These "issues" affect us all and it's time to stop pigeon holing them as a "women's problem" to deal with. ![]()
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We’re used to hearing that every vote counts, and that your vote makes a difference; words we can easily dismiss as cliché. However, on the island, with the size of our constituencies, the importance of every vote is easy to see. One person’s vote could really make the difference to getting the person you want elected to represent you (or to ensure that the person you don’t want representing you doesn’t get elected). ![]()
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Continue reading our article with Gef The Mongoose here 👉 ![]()
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gef.im/2021/09/22/there-are-no-womens-issues/?fbclid=IwAR01cF-ZrFofNs-PFe2745l9oKvbqzFO1axnRKqeJb...
I am sharing this from a private American domestic abuse group because the points are spot on.![]()
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"Important lessons to learn from Gabby’s tragic life and death.![]()
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1. Based on the body camera video posted by the officers who pulled Gabby and her fiancé over for suspicious driving, some viewers assumed Gabby was suffering from mental illness and Brian was the stable one. ![]()
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2. Some people may have assumed both partners were equally abusive and equally at fault. The old “it takes two” myth that doesn’t really apply to most abusive situations.![]()
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3. Some people may have even assumed Gabby was the abuser and Brian was the victim.![]()
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4. These assumptions are classic. Why? Because, in many cases, the target manages to keep things together until her breaking point, at which time others may see her crying or hear her yelling or see her breaking, and then they assume she’s “crazy.” ![]()
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5. Meanwhile, the abuser plays the part of the poor, patient partner who has to deal with this crazy person. But all the while, he’s been acting very differently behind closed doors, pushing her to this point intentionally and feeding on her emotional break. He LOVES to see evidence that he has hurt her. He LOVES to see her pain. ![]()
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6. For this reason, “breaking her” has been his goal from the start. It may take him hours or weeks or months or even years to break her, but he won’t stop until he gets that reaction, and then he’ll point the finger and say, “See? She’s crazy. I’m just trying to keep her calm.” And then he’ll do it again. And again. And again. ![]()
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7. As a result, some people will buy into that false narrative. Even the target. Which brings me to my next point.![]()
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8. In the video, we see Gabby making many excuses for Brian’s behavior, and she takes all the blame for everything he does. ![]()
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9. We also see Brian blaming Gabby and saying he was just trying to keep her calm.![]()
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10. This is also the norm for victims of long-standing abuse. A target becomes conditioned to believe everything the abuser does is her fault. ![]()
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11. Also, she clearly doesn’t want Brian to be in trouble. She’d rather pay the price and protect the man she loves. Also, remember she truly believes he only acted this way because of her, so she doesn’t want him to be blamed. This is also the norm. ![]()
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12. Smart officers see right through this. Others buy the cover-up story. (And because some officers are also abusers, they all too frequently side with the abuser even when they know exactly what’s going on.)![]()
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13. I actually credit the police in Gabby’s situation. They were calm, they separated the couple, they interviewed them individually, they split them up for the night, they did everything right. I’m sure the officer has tremendous guilt about the end result and wonders if he could have prevented it, but I don’t blame the officers in this case. I was actually pretty surprised and impressed with how well they treated both Brian and Gabby (and, sadly, I was thinking how rare it is to see that.) ![]()
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14. Many people have been shocked by Brian’s family’s refusal to cooperate with police. I’m not shocked at all. Let’s look at that a little more closely.![]()
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15. I’m also not surprised to learn that Gabby lived with the Laundrie family for a year. We all see this family will do anything to protect their son, even at the cost of an innocent young woman who was a real part of their family and soon to be their daughter in law. While most of us can certainly understand them wanting to protect their child, they crossed a moral line when Gabby went missing. ![]()
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16. But I think it goes deeper than that. I think it shows them as a system of enablers who not only allowed Brian to abuse Gabby over a long term (which probably led to her intense anxiety) but also a system of gaslighters who were probably always shifting the truth to keep Gabby confused and make her believe she’s the problem. She was caught in an entire system of abuse. And once you’re in that web, it’s very very very difficult to see a way out.![]()
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17. I imagine they probably contributed to her abuse from the start and encouraged their son’s abusive behaviors by rewarding him, making excuses for him, blaming Gabby, flipping the script, and keeping her in the fog that breaks down a person’s psyche and spirit over time.![]()
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18. Gabby and Brian had been together since their teens. This is also common. These immature relationships work beautifully when both partners grow together and mature emotionally. But when one wants to keep the other down, naive, and under his control...and the other is growing, learning, and maturing, it doesn’t work. ![]()
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19. We hear Gabby tell the officer that Brain didn’t think she could do her travel blog. It seems clear that he didn’t believe in her and was trying to make her not believe in herself. ![]()
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20. She also says he didn’t like her working and that he locked her out of the van because she wouldn’t calm down. But when you listen to the full video, it sounds like he was upset because they’d spent too much time at the coffee shop with her working on her website when he wanted to go hiking. She wasn’t in her seat when he was ready to leave. Control issues?! He squeezed her face with his hand in anger. He cut her down and criticized her, verbally abusing her until she was a wreck of tears. He was breaking her spirit, intentionally. ![]()
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21. Why? Because her focus wasn’t 100% on him. And because she had found a job she enjoyed and was good at and that allowed her to connect with other people, when he wanted her all to himself. ![]()
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22. She now had this one little piece of her life that he couldn’t completely control, so he wanted fo get rid of that. It angered him. He punished her for it. See the pattern? ![]()
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23. The overall takeaway? When you see someone crying like this, don’t assume she’s crazy. Don’t buy into the false narrative given by the abuser. Don’t believe the cover-up story by the target who has been conditioned to carry all the blame and shame. And don’t assume she’s going to be okay. She just may end up your next recovered body.![]()
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24. If you or someone you love are in an unhealthy relationship, please don’t assume it will get better in time. I haven’t heard one single story where it got better. Not one. Not with therapy. Not with church. Not with prayer or forgiveness or complete surrender. Nothing works when the abuser is determined to destroy that target. He will not stop until she is erased from this world or from her life. And in many cases, he’ll walk away without any consequences.![]()
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Please don’t let the next Gabby be you or someone you love. ![]()
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Domestic violence hotline: 1-800-799-7233 "
www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/violence-against-women-should-be-as-much-a-priority-as-terrorism-re...
www.msn.com
Stopping violence against women should be considered as much of a priority for the police as combating terrorism, a major report has found.
Men are inventing new excuses for killing women and judges are falling for them | Catherine Bennett
www.theguardian.com
Sam Pybus claimed his fatal act was consensual, and was given just four years in prison
📢 WE ARE STILL BEING KILLED BY MISOGYNY![]()
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According to a recent survey by Bauer Media , 75% of women said they feel more aware of potential danger when out in the evenings, and have become more vigilant, since the death of Sarah Everard.![]()
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Tragically, statistics like this — and the survivor experiences highlighted in our recent research report — come as no surprise to us. They underpin the widespread gender inequality we continue to campaign against.![]()
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❗ We need change, and we need it now.![]()
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Women should be safe on the streets and in their homes, without fear of violence and harassment.![]()
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As Jess Phillips points out, 'We must demand that women’s lives, and specifically our security, must become a political priority — not just a few pilot projects released here and there when bad things happen.'![]()
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To read our recent report ➡️ www.womensaid.org.uk/its-time-to-flip-the-sexist-script-2/![]()
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To find our more on the Grazia survey ➡️ graziadaily.co.uk/life/in-the-news/we-are-still-being-killed-by-misogyny/![]()
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#IWalkWithWomen
There is a lack of support for children of domestic abuse generally, and children are repeatedly let down by the family courts that fail to understand their fear or risk of DA, leading to ongoing trauma, a risk of emotional or physical injury or death, and an impact on their adult lives and relationships. The children of parents killed by DA seem to be forgotten. On Island and in the UK, the Joanna Simpson Foundation is working in this area to improve support for children, especially those bereaved by abuse.
What happens to the children of women killed by men?
www.theguardian.com
In the latest part of our series, we highlight the lack of official support in the UK for traumatised youngsters and those left to pick up the pieces. But, amid the grief, is there still hope for the ...
What happens to the children of women killed by men?
www.theguardian.com
In the latest part of our series, we highlight the lack of official support in the UK for traumatised youngsters and those left to pick up the pieces. But, amid the grief, is there still hope for the ...
ow.ly
This victory of Ms. A.B, a domestic violence survivor and asylum-seeker, reaffirms that violence within a home is not a private matter.
Domestic abuse survivor's campaign to tighten gun laws
www.plymouthherald.co.uk
Rachel Williams has joined forces with former Chief Prosecutor Nazir Afzal to force government to review licencing conditions to hold any firearm in wake of the Plymouth incident
‘Women are routinely discredited’: How courts fail mothers and children who have survived abuse
ow.ly
Burdened by the high cost of legal help and penalized by courts that favor fathers, women risk losing children to abusive partners
What is 'love bombing' and how can you spot it?
metro.co.uk
Too much affection and attention too soon can be a red flag.
Coercive control: Male victims say they aren't believed
bbc.in
Craig says he was criticised and controlled, leaving him with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Survivor vs. Victim | PTSD Treatment and Trauma Therapy — Aspire Counseling
buff.ly
A trauma therapist discusses the importance of using the correct language when talking about trauma and shares why you should use the word survivor vs. victim.
We're calling for local authorities to fund specific DA services for women, in recognition that domestic abuse is a gendered crime where women are the majority of victims and the vast majority of severe injury and domestic homicide victims.![]()
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We’ve reached 10,000 signatures on our vital petition. Let's keep going!![]()
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We won't stop until domestic abuse is no longer tolerated. ![]()
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➡️ petition.parliament.uk/petitions/577718
Domestic violence can also take the form of economic abuse
ow.ly
Debt, inaccessible accounts and job sabotage are all examples of financial abuse that domestic violence survivors may endure.
This should be interesting reading, I am sure responses have been similar all over and although there has been change and improvement, still not enough:Continuing Anni Donaldson's Post-War blog series, today's contribution from her is on police and social work responses to domestic abuse in late twentieth century Scotland.![]()
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Read the fifth installation in this series here: bit.ly/DAResponsesScotland![]()
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As part of our Spring 2021 training programme, Dr Donaldson has delivered webinars on #DomesticAbuse in post-war Scotland. Find out more from her previous blog posts here: womensaid.scot/blog/
Timeline PhotosEvery single minute that ticks by, another 20 people in the U.S. experience physical violence by an intimate partner. That adds up to more than 10 million abuse victims each year! #DV101 #DVFacts
💬 “I was forced to stay in my marriage because it would bring shame.” — survivor response, Gendered Experiences of Justice and Domestic Abuse report.![]()
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In our key research — with University of Bristol — many women reported feeling responsible for protecting and maintaining the household, often experiencing pressure from family members too.![]()
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Every single day, girls and women in the UK are trapped, threatened, beaten and forced to stay in marriages, in the name of so called ‘honour’. There is nothing honourable about so called 'honour' violence.![]()
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Relationships should be a safe and happy space.![]()
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We encourage you to read our full report, illustrating the lived experiences of survivors and how hierarchical division of gender roles — along traditional lines — can set the scene for domestic abuse ➡️ www.womensaid.org.uk/its-time-to-flip-the-sexist-script-2/![]()
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If you don’t feel safe at home, please reach out to Karma Nirvana, a specialist service for survivors of honour-based abuse ➡️ karmanirvana.org.uk/![]()
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[Image description: White writing on a pink and dark teal background. It says: “There is nothing honourable about 'honour violence.” Below this reads: #FlipTheSexistScript. The University of Bristol logo is on the bottom left, and the Women’s Aid logo is on the bottom right.]
At SafeLives, we are looking to explore and understand the current thinking around the DASH risk assessment tool. As part of this process, we want to hear from professionals who use the DASH directly with victims and survivors of #DomesticAbuse. ![]()
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The survey is open to anyone who uses the DASH risk assessment tool, not only domestic abuse professionals. ![]()
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Click here to complete the survey: www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DH2DW63
'Witnessing my mum be abused by her ex-partner'
www.bbc.co.uk
Betty Harper, 19, wrote a song the night her mum, Natasha, was beaten by her then-partner.
What do many terrorists have in common? They abuse women | Joan Smith
www.theguardian.com
Groundbreaking new research shows that extremist attackers are often united in their violent misogyny, says journalist and campaigner Joan Smith
Can anyone recommend a good venue, ideally in Douglas or central, with good parking and space for 70-100 people? (bearing in mind social distancing if required). It needs to have wifi, a screen and speakers etc. We had a launch training event booked for 70 people but due to covid our venue has decided not to do large functions. We were intending to provide refreshments or a light meal as well as the presentation, so we either need a venue that can provide food, or a venue where we could have a caterer go in. We are working to a budget so it needs to be a nice but cost-effective venue. Any recommendations would be really helpful! Thank you.
Have you experienced an abusive relationship and would you like to participate in a recovery program that helps rebuild your life and confidence after abuse? Please get in touch if you would like a place on Own My Life Course, starting in September 2021. This is a confidential, women only group offered in partnership with the Children’s Centre.![]()
The Own My Life Course is a new and innovative programme that builds self-esteem and self-reliance after being subjected to an abusive relationship, using videos, interactive content and discussions within a safe and supportive environment. Women have an OML Journal containing all the course material and with space to make notes, which they can take home for reference after the Course, if it is safe for them to do so.![]()
Response by women who have completed this program in both the Isle of Man and UK has been extremely positive – they have found it “life-changing” and “transforming”. If you yourself are not affected by abuse, maybe you know a friend or family member who is. Please share with anyone who would benefit from this supportive course. More information on our website www.space4action.info
www.space4action.info
Space4Action are committed and dedicated to helping end domestic abuse on the Isle of Man.
www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/republic-of-ireland/domestic-violence-can-cost-women-113000-euro-...
Domestic violence can cost women 113,000 euro over 20 years – research
www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk
The report from Safe Ireland and NUI Galway assesses that the national cost of domestic violence to survivors is an estimated 56 billion euro over a 20.5-year journey.
A great idea: if you or anyone you love has ever had to set up home again after domestic abuse -with little or no money or perhaps after financial abuse, and knows the struggle of trying to make a home and provide for children when you have next to nothing, please fill out and share this survey. Hopefully it would apply to branches of shops over here - or we can try to ensure that it does!
www.surveymonkey.co.uk
The Charity Shop Gift Card survey powered by surveymonkey.com.
“What Britney Spears described in her testimony this week is a situation where every element of her life is being controlled by her father through law, violating her human rights. This control, which means that Britney can no longer see her friends and has been told what medication she must take, has been described as “abusive” by the singer and given what we know of the case, not acceptable. ![]()
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➡️ Coercive control has been illegal in England and Wales since 2015, yet in the US the courts have allowed Britney’s father to be able to exercise control over every part of her life, down to forced contraception and if she can get married. ![]()
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❗️This horrendous experience must be stopped - women’s bodies do not belong to men, and these decisions are limiting her life choices. Britney has told a court that the arrangement is “abusive” and at Women’s Aid we back Britney’s right – and every woman’s right – to have control over their own lives. Any mental illness experienced by women should never be managed legally or medically in a way that removes their right to freedom, dignity and respect.” - Farah Nazeer, CEO at Women’s Aid. ![]()
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➡️ If you are experiencing coercive control, reaching out for support can be a difficult but brave first step. Women’s Aid is here for you. Click here to access our services and speak with an expert support worker: www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/
‘Huge concern’ as three-in-four domestic abuse cases fail to end in charges | ITV News
www.itv.com
‘Huge concern’ as three-in-four domestic abuse cases fail to end in charges; ITV National News
A new report by HMICFRS (Her Majesty’s Inspectorate of Constabulary and Fire & Rescue Services) — released today — has acknowledged that the pandemic has put domestic abuse survivors at greater risk, and has praised the police for making good use of technology and working with partners to find new ways to support survivors. ![]()
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"We know that perpetrators used the pandemic and lockdown measures to heighten their abuse and control, and that many survivors and their children were trapped at home with abusers – isolated and shut off from support. Specialist domestic abuse services worked around the clock to support survivors during this extremely challenging year and, as this report shows, worked innovatively with police forces to keep women and children safe.![]()
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"But our research with survivors during the pandemic found inconsistencies in officers’ responses – including those who didn’t respond quickly to reports of domestic abuse, or didn’t take appropriate action to sanction the perpetrator. It is unacceptable that for every four domestic abuse crimes, three are closed with no further action for the perpetrator." — Farah Nazeer, Chief Executive at Women's Aid.![]()
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Read our full response ➡️ lght.ly/2ehd44a
'He'd creep up on me and follow me around': my husband used my hearing loss to control me
inews.co.uk
I am sharing my story now because women with disabilities are more than twice as likely to experience domestic abuse
Great campaign from Atlanta which should be spread everywhere:Happy Father's Day! Thanks to these generous donors to our 2021 It Takes a Man to End Domestic Violence campaign. Check today's AJC for a print copy!
Warning over spikes in domestic abuse during England matches
www.independent.co.uk
Abuse surged by 38% when England lost in previous World Cups
Financial Abuse: Often the First Sign of Domestic Abuse
buff.ly
Financial abuse occurs in almost every domestic abuse situation. Yet it is not easily recognized. Learn the most common ways financial abuse occurs.
Police officer helping domestic abuse victims after his mum's murder
www.walesonline.co.uk
Michael Taggart has been honoured with an MBE for his work
www.channel4.com/news/more-than-100-women-accuse-police-officers-of-domestic-abuse-alleging-boys-...
More than 100 women accuse police officers of domestic abuse, alleging ‘boys club’ culture
www.channel4.com
One woman every week is coming forward to report their partner in the police is seriously abusing them or their children - more than 125 have come forward in the last two years, Channel 4 News can rev...
We will be attending this virtual conference. The original SUDTA Conference in Wales was excellent, with a really good range of quality speakers - a truly inspirational event . Looking forward to this one!
Stand Up To Domestic Abuse 2021
www.eventbrite.co.uk
Stand Up to Domestic Abuse and SafeLives are hosting a celebratory virtual event.
IMPORTANT NOTICE, OWN MY LIFE COURSE: Due to multiple circumstances beyond our control, we have taken the decision to postpone this course. Please get in touch if you are interested in a place on the course, or in referring someone you know, and we will put you on the waiting list for the course and update you when we confirm the new dates. Apologies and thanks for your patience.
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